Broken Pieces
by s-sdensi
Summary: Set after Deep Trouble (5x24). After the day is done, the team (plus Talia) head out to a bar, but Kensi is not very sure where she and Deeks stand after the past few months. Two-parter.


**AN: In honor of 1000 followers on Tumblr (!) and the season finale, here's this year's post-fic. This fic is very angsty so for extra angst, my recommendation is to play Cassadee Pope's "One Song Away" to get the theme of the story. (It helped me write this fic.) And a very big "muchas gracias" to Cierra (MontyTheDog/kensideeks) for her help to beta this fic! Enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! :)**

* * *

She was tired, so tired. The past few months had been hell, first with the Afghanistan mission, then Jack (who broke her heart, again), the torture, the rescue and finally the breakup. She was ready for the jump. After getting closure from the Jack chapter of her life, she was finally ready to move on, with the man who was always there for her, Deeks. But he blocked her out, scared by that idiotic Angelo and his stupid "Three Hearts". That day was way too confusing. First it started with Three Hearts, then moved on to raccoons, knives being returned and boxes being opened. Where the hell was the normalcy she desperately wished for? Those moments between Deeks and her? She was ready to talk about their thing and he shuts her out. And it hurt so bad. Then to top it all, one overly-flirty DEA agent came waltzing in, calling Deeks her "partner" and talking all about the time they "hooked up". The jealousy flared, like a little green monster wreaking havoc inside her. Then Sam and Callen got themselves locked in a torpedo-like submarine, and drifted into the middle of the Pacific with 3 armed hostiles threatening their lives.

Thankfully, the duo were rescued with very minimal injuries, and were set to go after the medics checked them as soon as the rescue chopper landed. As soon as the team shuffled into the bullpen, they were all set, ready to go home. That was until Talia spoke.

"Hey, anybody up for drinks? I'm up for a margarita after today."

"Count me in, nothing beats drinking a beer after risking your life." Callen grinned.

"Same here. I'm in." Sam agreed.

"I'm in." Deeks chimed in. As if they were all synchronized, all 4 heads turn to her after Deeks agree, waiting for her answer. Should she? She could go home, never have to worry about that Talia again, or she could steel herself and go, not wanting to look like a pouting brat.

"I'll come."

* * *

Sam and Callen had drove together, Nell and Eric left last to close the mission, leaving Talia to go with Kensi and Deeks. But before they left, Kensi quickly changed shirts as if to get rid of the day's memories into a silky black shirt that hugged her curves. They reached a high class bar in no time, luckily getting Kensi out of awkward silence in the car. Kensi had chose to be the designated driver that night, as she didn't want to become super super drunk and say something regrettable. They all shuffled in quickly to find a booth before the bar started to fill up.

"Hey, who's gonna get the drinks?" Talia said, breaking the silence. Sam and Callen shared a grin before turning towards Kensi.

"Ok, why are we all looking at me? Is there something on me or what?" She started to ask before realization hit her.

"Why don't we ask our designated driver for the night to help us out?" Callen teased as Kensi sighed. Everyone but Talia and Deeks ordered a beer, the two instead decided on margaritas. Kensi went to the bar and ordered, and the bartender immediately gave her the beers but told her that the margaritas would take some time and they would be delivered to the table. Eventually, the margaritas came and the team (minus Kensi and plus Talia) slowly started to become drunk. Not only were the levels of intoxication rising, the flirting levels between Talia and Deeks were starting to rise and irritate Kensi more and more. Not only was Talia unabashedly flirting with Deeks, he made no move to stop her, not only hurting Kensi but making her feel worse and worse about herself.

_What is happening? Why is everything spinning out of control? I come back from Afghanistan only to be faced with this? I would have rather died in Afghanistan rather than face Deeks move on right in front of me while claiming "Raccoons mate for life." How does that even relate to us? Did I already lose him when I was in Afghanistan? They already "hooked up" once, could she have convinced him to dump me and go after her? Why did Hetty ever have to send me off there? It was only one day, one day with mistakes, no chance to correct ourselves. Mainly myself. It's all my fault and I can't fix it now._

It just got to be too much, she couldn't handle it anymore.

"Ahem. Anything else I need to order?" She said as she stood up. Sam, Callen, and Eric declined while Nell ordered another beer and more margaritas for Deeks and Talia. At the bar, Kensi ordered a Coke for herself, not wanting to leave with a dry throat. As she waited for the margaritas to get done, she slowly sipped her Coke, pondering over the issues at hand. Once the drinks were done, she returned back to the table, only to be met by the sight of Deeks and Talia cuddling at the corner of the booth. Angry tears and jealousy burning at her, she set the drinks on the table loudly, muttering an excuse about the bathroom before running off.

"What's up with her tonight?" Talia asked and received no answer, just Nell taking off after Kensi.

* * *

After locking herself in a stall, Kensi sunk to the floor and began to sob. She couldn't help it, it may have been cliche, but now all she could focus on was that Deeks had moved on without a single regret and she was left with a broken heart, again. Her stomach hurt, her head throbbed but nothing could take away the pain of her broken heart laboring to survive. She heard the door open and Nell's voice call out, "Kensi? Where are you? Are you ok?" Kensi took a deep breath, and called out shakily, "In the farthest stall," before unlocking the stall door. Nell hurried into the stall and sat opposite to Kensi as she closed the door and buried her head in her hands and started to cry again. Slowly, Nell shifted closer and put her arms around Kensi to comfort her.

"I don't get it Nell. He promised to be patient, but he wasn't. We've been through a lot this year, and he breaks up with me only to say 'Raccoons mate for life.' Nell, what does that even mean? What am I going to do. I...I love him, Nell. I love him so damn much. But now, I don't know if he loves me anymore. I think I've lost him Nell." Her cries slowly turn to sniffles as she calms down, but the pang of her heart still evident on her face.

"Kensi, I don't know what to say. Are you sure you lost Deeks? It seems very improbable that the same man who was lining for you every single day when you were gone could suddenly just forget about you as soon as he got you back."

"I'm completely sure. I heard him say that he called me to check up on me the day I came back. But he didn't. He didn't even drop me home. Granger did. And now, he's gone to Talia and we're history." Nell and Kensi stayed there until Kensi calmed down completely and nodded her head.

"Well, time to go back I guess." Lucky for her, Nell had an emergency supply of makeup in her purse, so with her help, Kensi quickly freshened up and the two women walked out, with their heads held high.

* * *

The rest of the night passes by quickly, Sam and Callen declined her offer to drive them home and hail a taxi instead as did Nell and Eric. That left Kensi to drop off Talia and Deeks. They reached Talia's house first, and Talia thanked Kensi and asked Deeks whether he would like to come in for a coffee or "something". Sneaking a glance at Kensi, Deeks declined and Talia wished both partners good night. After an awkward drive, the two finally reach Deeks' house.

"So.. um Kens..."

"Don't Deeks. I'm happy for you both. Good night Deeks." Kensi's voice cracked at the end and she hurriedly drove off, leaving a saddened and confused Deeks watching the headlights of the car rush away.

And little did he know that his partner parked outside his street and cried for the moments she lost with her partner which he will spend instead with his new girlfriend.

* * *

**Part 2 will be up soon :)**


End file.
